Hey RFs, in a world buzzing with digital connections, have you ever stopped to wonder if you’re missing out on the magic of genuine, face-to-face encounters? Welcome to the world of ChainMeet, where making real, authentic connections is not just a possibility but a fun and simple reality!
I hope you’ve had a chance to read my story of how my friend Gina changed my life. So now I bring you our super-simple 4-step blueprint, MTER, born from how she honored me. You’ll see how easy it is to be your self-confident unique you for others. You can be an RF for a VF; that is, you can be a RealFriend for a ValuedFriend.
And it starts with a super-simple four-step framework: Meet, Treat, Eat, Repeat. Sounds intriguing, right? Let’s dive in!
1. MEET: Where It All Begins
You, as an RF, simply invite a VF to meet at a favorite restaurant, coffee shop, wherever.
Even just you saying, Hey, wanna grab a coffee… a beer… get some lunch? Such a simple gesture, a simple invite, but that can make someone’s day! You never know what kind of day someone could be having; it made my day! ;o)
WHERE do you go? You choose. A place where you like the food, the atmosphere. Your goal is to create an environment where both of you feel comfortable. No overwhelming crowds or events—just you and a friend.
Coffee shops and cafes are great in promoting meaningful conversation and connection. A bar-and-grill is a fun place. Or other restaurants with a relaxing atmosphere. You just want a place that is not so noisy that you have to scream to hear each other.
Then you MEET in person, one-on-one, face-to-face, and it’s easy with just one friend (or a colleague) at a time. That is the KEY: meeting and connecting one-on-one;it’s the easiest, the “funnest,” and most effective way to make an impact on someone’s life. And it’s easy being with a friend, you already know them. With ChainMeet, it’s so cool that we don’t have to worry and stress out about always having to make a good first impression when meeting new people and then still wondering: are they even interested in me as a friend.
Hey let’s do a simple exercise, it’ll take just a few seconds. Got a pen and paper? I want you to write down some friends’ names; write down just 3-5 names of your VFs, your ValuedFriends, that you may like to MEET with. It could be a friend that you know well and really like, it could be someone more of an acquaintance and you want to get to know them better. Ready, go… Time. Got 3-5 names? All right!
2. TREAT: The Sweet Surprise
Picture this: You meet, you order, and then you surprise them by saying, Hey it’s on me. It could be a cup of coffee, an ice cream, a beer. It’s a small gesture, but it’s the act of treating and the act of being treated that count, and makes your connection all the more special.
How many of you have ever been treated to some kind of food or drink? How did it make you feel? Pretty good, huh? For a ChainMeet, yes, you TREAT your friend! To a coffee, ice cream, pizza, steak dinner, whatever sounds good to you, you choose.
Now, as much as I would love to, I may not be able to afford a ribeye every time (or any time) but we can afford a cuppa coffee, can’t we? It’s really not even about the dollar amount; you can even each pay your own way. The important thing is: it’s your presence, your engagement, and attention that matters to them! So, wherever you meet, whatever you treat, it can be both memorable, affordable and sweet.
Plus, isn’t there something kinda profound about sharing a meal, sharing food and drink together? It enhances the experience, doesn’t it? The connection. There’s a quote from Someone somewhere: Friends who eat together, stay together.
Okay, let’s go back to your paper; we’re gonna do another exercise. This time, I want you to write down some places you like and may want to take them to TREAT. Ready, go… Time.
So now you have a short list of your VFs and some venues for your ChainMeets.
3. EAT: Share a Meal, Share a Moment
Hmm what do you do here? Just EAT, drink and be merry together! Did you know sharing food or drink has a magical way of breaking down barriers and fostering genuine, meaningful conversation? So go ahead, dig in! Have a good time!
And you, RF, sweeten that TREAT by honoring and inspiring your friend with your focus, your attention, asking questions, your listening, eye contact, keeping your phone out-of-sight. When you offer yourself in this way, you’ll find lots of opportunities to offer positive affirmation, validation and encouragement, just like Gina honored me!
During this time, what do you think could be a common challenge or intimidation? “What do I say?” The easy answer: ask them! “But what do I ask?” If you have had the chance to read Chapter 6 of my book, ChainMeet to Inspire Forward, you will see some examples of open-ended questions that can help start the conversation. For example, What are you doing this weekend? How is your project going? Or, what do you think about …? (And you fill in the blank). Then sometimes it helps to build upon a previous question or a previous answer. The conversation path here is simple: You ask, they talk, you listen… Then you talk. And yes, of course, you can share too; meaningful conversation goes both ways.
Remember, it’s okay to have a meaningful conversation about life stuff. Because life is not designed to be done by ourselves; it’s designed to be done in community and communion. This time is the FELLOWSHIP.
It’s also the exciting part; it’s when the MAGIC happens! And the magic comes from our 2-fold foundation; or as our RockFriends would say, the two bedrocks of ChainMeet. The first is something so often misunderstood and underestimated: the concept of Others-Love. Now don’t groan yet, stay with me! At its core, with ChainMeet, Others-Love is all about the idea that by uplifting and supporting others, we not only create a positive impact on their lives, we ourselves experience a “reciprocal sense” of encouragement and inspiration; it’s calledReciprocity.
Reciprocity is the second part of our foundation, the 2nd bedrock. It is the good version of What goes around comes around. In other words, as I uplift and affirm my friend, I feel affirmed in myself. When I see how I help my friend feel more confident, I feel a boost in my own self-confidence. That is the awesome Power of Reciprocity! It’s where your love for others fills you, and in turn, spills back again into the world; just one ChainMeet at a time.
Oh, and that reciprocity? I saw it in Gina too; I could see she was enjoying encouraging me! Chapter 6 of the book also talks about body language, how you can look for certain things, for example, eye contact; you can tell when someone is interested and engaged in your conversation.
4. REPEAT: The Beautiful Cycle
Now, here’s the secret sauce and the most important step! For both your connections and for your personal growth: Repeat! Keep those connections alive and growing. It’s not only creating memories, it’s inspiring forward from friend to friend to friend with positivity and affirmation.
What do you do? You REPEAT ChainMeets all over again; maybe next week with another friend. And again. The key? Simply one friend at a time.
You’ll find that the more we REPEAT ChainMeets, the more we honor others and lift them up (that’s Others-Love!), get this: the more it comes back to us through Reciprocity! You’ll also find it makes a world of difference in our own interpretation of ourselves. The more you Repeat and inspire forward, the more you inspire within, so you’ll want to inspire forward again and again.
Why does ChainMeet Work?
It brings back the simple joy of connecting face-to-face. Do you know that we human beings have an innate craving for genuine personal human connection? We don’t even realize it, but that’s how we were created. And ChainMeet is about you being your self-confident Unique You for the world. No scripts, no pressure, just genuine meaningful meets.
Envision a Chain: Each of your ChainMeets is a link in the Chain, the Chain of Positivity. The more ChainMeets, the stronger the Chain, the stronger the support around us; and the stronger the power of positivity replacing negativity! Unfortunately, there is power in negativity. But we, you and I, can change the narrative! See, our vision is community-driven: it’s you and I changing the world around us, creating a growing community that inspires and uplifts one another; how cool is that!
So, will you join me? I invite you:
- Meet me, mate, in this merry medley
- Where meaningful meets make memories meldy
- Mingle, munch, and muse with glee
- In the marvelous world of Mastering Meaningful Meets; you’ll see!
Cheers!